Spring Infertility Rites

earth mom

As I approach my own due date, my thoughts turn to the season of fertility and abundance of the spring festivals in all their splendor.

With Ostara on the horizon, the Wheel of the Year turns our attention to the matter of new life and the embodiment of womanly fertility.

The emphasis on womanhood in our traditions, particularly the transition from Maid to Mother, is both beautiful and cruel.

If a Wiccan finds herself unable to cross over into motherhood in the literal sense of the word, the feeling of void opens annually during spring rites.  Altars everywhere piled high with eggs, spring bulbs and symbols of fruitfulness make coming to terms with an empty womb an uphill climb.

Fraught with moral pitfalls, the subject of fertility itself in neopaganism and modern witchcraft often elicits uncomfortable chair shifting from even the most seasoned among us.

Many an ethical Wiccan has cringed at the site of the wince-worthy comment spam in Babycenter fertility forums that proclaims boldly in capital letters:

“I DIDN’T BELIEVE IN SPELLS UNTIL I MET THE GREAT MADAM MIM.  FOR JUST $150 SHE CAST A SPELL AND NOW I AM PREGNANT!!”

Of course, most people (perhaps especially real practitioners) recognize this for what it is: the disgusting attempt of a charlatan to swindle money out of some poor soul by playing on her desperate desire to conceive a child.

Unfortunately, the general public rarely recognizes a distinction between the aforementioned swindler and an honest practitioner.

And so the subject of fertility and Wicca becomes uncomfortable for us all.

It’s a shame.  Here we have a real opportunity as sisters to support and guide each other through the process of conceiving.

Or, perhaps even more importantly, to help one another through the healing process when it becomes clear that conceiving is not part of this life’s journey.

Ostara ought to be a time when we go to our sisters for healing in all ways with respect to the cycle of life.

I’m not saying fertility spells don’t have a place in a healthy practice.  Participating in a fertility ritual to address the spiritual side of trying to conceive is a wonderful thing to do.  We as practitioners are well aware of the mind/spirit/body connection.  It makes sense that while no amount of spell work will unclog a blocked fallopian tube, sometimes fertility really does come down to spiritual blockages, and I firmly believe that ritual has a place in helping to heal those types of problems.

But even in the case of purely medical infertility, we still have an emotional job to do, and it may be even more important.

If you know a woman in your community or coven struggling with fertility, remember her this season for Ostara.  Remind her of her inherent worth as a human being, and that her womanhood is every bit a maternal asset to her community as her hyper-fertile counterpart—maybe even more so.  Whether she’s the first to arrive when someone is in the hospital, always makes sure everyone at the party is well-fed, or is someone you feel you can call in the middle of the night in an emergency, remind her of all the ways she is a “mother” to the people around her.

Now is the time to celebrate all the things we “give birth” to in life.

 

2 Comments

  1. Hi this really moved me I am nearly 30 and have yet to conceive I get so worried to go doctors and them tell me a carnt have babys of my own some day that I put off going . Over the years I have just come to think that maybe am not fertile or just not built right in a sense. This make me so sad every month with out a doubt . My boy friend think am fine and it will happen when it does . Could you help me maybe with some spells I could do or something please.

    1. Hi Naomi,

      I empathize so deeply with what you’re going through on levels I could never fully articulate here. Infertility is heartbreaking in a way that only someone who has lived through it can really understand.

      I do believe that meditation and spiritual wellness certainly help the conception process, but it’s also important not to blame yourself or try to leverage your spirituality in a way that might set you up for difficulties in the future.

      One way I really think that ritual and spiritual exploration can help is to assist you in opening yourself to all the possibilities of what motherhood can look like.

      My point is, if you want to be a mother, you can be one. One way or the other, if your heart and mind are open, there’s a child out there for you to love, whether that child comes to you through your own body or through other circumstances.

      I know many great mothers whose children came to them in unconventional ways.

      I also know a lot of adults with biological parents they never felt connected to.

      Believe me, I don’t say this casually or without thought for how hard decisions like this are. I know it’s a long road that requires a lot of soul searching.

      Blessed be and know that my sincerest thoughts are with you.

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